on violence

The pressure from the tabloids is too intense for me to sleep right now.
Not..
The two vicodins I ate are making for bold outbursts like this.
This is what I call an outburst... Going online and writing some personal shit on some simple site about psychedelia and violence.
I am reminded often that immediacy of communication is an overpowering and often physically disabling habit that people are growing or currently are accustomed to.
I don't know how many people have seen this video that is being sent around of me getting choked out and sucker punched but it's been pretty tough getting hold of the footage. I am extremely interested in reviewing what happened and wondering how many times I said "hella stupid" during the fight.
Violence has a bunch of different forms.
I violently splattered paint all over the Flowershop one night recently and am pretty convinced that my roommates feel that I have "lost it".
I've drank a violent amount to damage my own health on a few occasions.
Drumming is violent when you're playing pissed off.
Violence as a physical hobby that includes other people and isn't consensually sexual (i.e. spanking, whipping, etc..).. that's a different game. I've never been into it but have legitimately been forced into it when getting attacked by drunk/drugged out chicks. At one end it's fairly elementary and can probably be solved by redoing kindergarten and at the other it can be extreme; it's political or occurs in huge numbers.
Violence gives you a bloody nose and some shit to talk about for a day or two. That and a killer back ache.  I guess that's what this fight I got into over the weekend accomplished. Something to talk about the next day for myself and whoever got a hold of that video and maybe for a couple days.. getting a phone call like "oh there's this video of you getting choked out and bleeding all over the place"
The thing with being psychedelic is that every possibility is well.. possible. There is no definite answer because you're all ready settled with that in your brain, that the world is infinitely undefinable, that you can't predict people, and that you as a human are capable of many colors.. purples for bruises, reds and oranges for blood, greens and yellows when healing and a constant peach and pink that never leaves. Technology is catching up to all that. It's fucking creepy. I go from a bar where there is a straight 10 minute silence amongst a decent sized group of interesting enough people (7 8 maybe 9) all hunched lopsided hurdling their attention forward leaning into their iphones staring at pretty much each other but in a tiny moving box to getting my hair pulled and watching my blood explode from my face all over some chicks apartment to a phone call about how I can hold this rectangular object in front of me and watch all of this go down.
Will there be more hunchbacks in our near future?
Biology books in the future may have some seriously disturbing figures of how technology has changed peoples postures or hands maybe. Darwin is in purgatory only currently and hell will be when people are streaming mass from the vatican to a seven year old's nintendo DS. (that's what the new thing is for kids right? or do they all just have ipads now?)
It's not like I'm some fucking relic keeping monocles around and using lanterns and candles to light my way around my room I'm just bad with technology and genuinely creeped out by how attached to phones people are these days.
but thats how it is.
I want to flash frame images of the blood splattering around. That's what I'm really interested in. Not so much the girls who did it to me since violence is probably their stronger characteristic and the rest must be pretty boring.
But the explosions of it from my face. I wonder if it takes shape like fireworks would from the smallest central point, being hurled outward maybe in webs or if the blood came out more like in strings and wires or if all the limbs flailing about and against me made the blood splash like paint being thrown around.
 If someone offered to show what you look like dead or pregnant or getting hit by a truck you'd take it right? Why not?
actors have to do that all the time.. watch themselves depicted as an agent of violence and death.
pretty neat stuff.